Disney "World of acceptance"

Where we live in the northeast is not what you would call the "mecca" of diversity. A christian singer Nicole C. Mullins has a song with lyrics "mama looks like coffee, daddy looks like cream, baby is a mocha drop American dream". That is what I consider my niece, a Mocha Drop American dream.

There are times though that Drew and I have experienced rudeness from strangers that DO NOT feel the same way we do about her, or us. The most surprising thing is they make it well known and say things. When did it become normal to state your opinion on something you know nothing about? We have had people from every race and color say things to us about our "child", the first few times I was literally aw struck that someone could actually say things like that out loud. I have opinions (and trust me I'm no saint when it comes to keeping them to myself) but some of these things left me utterly stunned without response.

I am not sure why, but the local Home Depot is where most of comments come from. Not the workers but the customers. Same with the local Chinese buffet (I'm pregnant and I love Chinese, don't judge). We get strange looks and comments from every color of the rainbow at least in our own hometown.

One lady at the Chinese Buffet said to me with Makenzie within earshot "Why don't you stick to your own kind, you have to go around stealing our men?" My initial response was (because I had food on the brain) "Your eating here too? I like Chinese food" It clicked as she gave me a strange look she was talking about My niece not the food. I then grabbed my niece, covered her ears and let the lady know a thing or two about her attitude. I know it was not at all a response of grace or kindness, but to think that in 2011 there are still people that feel this way was a disgrace.

Another time a lady walked straight up to me and Drew, looks at me and says "I hope he doesn't believe that "that's" (pointing to Makenzie) his!" JAW HIT FLOOR!!! what in the world? She is referring to a little girl as a "that"... hello, she is a little human being! And this lady has NO IDEA that Drew has devoted his entire life to this little girl, that he loves her. Oh, can we mention that little girl is living without her mom for an entire year to defend this country and the freedom to have any family she wants! There was/is so much I wanted to yell and explain to her. This time we just stood there jaws dropped. The worst is that the "that" heard the whole thing and is old enough to realize what was going on.

There are probably ten more examples I can share here, but I want to get into the something that has restored my hope in our situation. Disney World.

Disney World brought all stares and rude comments to a complete halt. Everyone in Disney World is part of the great rainbow we call the earth. There were so many "different" families, we were left alone. Not one side glance or comment. It was beautiful. There were people of every race, religion, and ability. We had one lady ask us when we adopted our little girl, we explained the whole story to her and her eyes were not filled with judgement they were filled with compassion. She then told us about some families in her church who were trying to adopt from other countries and the things they were going through. Families can come in any shape, size, and color and the Disney atmosphere embraces that, now the rest of the world needs to catch up.

My brother said it right... "wait a minute, lets not be judgmental! Isn't that Gods job?... life gets awfully difficult when we put each other down."

put your feet down

Driving on long trips (more than 5 minutes) with Makenzie is well, interesting. She likes to talk and she loves to put her feet up. I have to tell her at least 30 times, on a good day... "put your feet down." I think I was on time number 362 for the day, when Makenzie asked me "Why do I have to put my feet down?" I took my time in deciding how to respond, knowing that however I respond she will give it 3 minutes before she puts them right back up there. Several things ran through my my mind, from the "because I said so, I am the adult" to "It's unsafe" to "you are ruining my seats". Ruining my seats is not exactly believable, I drive a car that's 12 years old, the seats are beyond help.
I finally decided on "You know Makenzie I would prefer if you didn't put your feet on the seats because its unsafe, if we get in an accident you could be injured or killed"
Her response- "that wouldn't be so bad"
Me- "yes it would, if you something happened to you I would be very sad and so would your mom"
And would you believe the girl gives me an answer I was not expecting, nor asking for, big surprise in Makenzie world.
"Honestly, Aunt Mandy it wouldn't be that bad... I can just hang out with God until Grammy gets up there to heaven. The Man's been taking care of me since I got here, you think he's not gonna help me get friends up there until everyone else comes?"

Exactly how do you respond? You don't.

Time between conversation and the next feet on seat incident... how about she never put them down.

zebra pack of gum, I am my mom.

Anyone remember this gum? I sure do, so delicious and fruity... and it lost it's flavor so quickly that you were forced to eat the whole pack in under an hour. Although, maybe I made that up so I could eat it as fast as possible, who knows. This was the treat of all treats. I'm talkin' the mother of all that was awesome! This gum and the story behind it made me realize I am my mothers child. What had happened was...

We were at a grocery store with my mom, I can't tell you what age (if I guessed I would say sixish?) or where exactly. I just know it was a grocery store, with the candy section sitting right there in the cashiers line. With that zebra pack of gum, eye level or shall I say hand level. Right there just waiting for the taking, I am pretty sure it was glowing and it called my name and then my sisters. I know she heard it, because I could see that look on her face knowing she thought the same thing. That pack of gum wanted us, and we wanted it. So, I grabbed it, handed a piece to my sister, took a piece for myself and stuck the rest of the pack in my pocket. Didn't think anything of it until I got to the car and the first piece lost its flavor. Popped another in my mouth and handed Alicia another, by about piece 4 our mouths were full and my mom started to get suspicious, probably because Alicia and I weren't fighting talking like usual. When the woman realized our mouths were full she began to question us, asking about what was in our mouths and where did we get it... you know typical mom investigation, the kind where no matter what you say you know you're not getting away with anything. At the end of said investigation, she made us go back to the store, apologize to the cashier, then to the security guy and made us give the gum back. She then had the security guy tell us what could happen if we did it ever again. Honestly, jail sounded way better than publicly apologizing to everyone in the store my mom could find in her radar. I was embarrassed and I am pretty sure my sister was too. Note to six year old self- never steal anything ever again, even if that zebra gum is calling you by name. I learned my lesson.

Fast Forward 22 Years...
We now have a six year old living with us. She has a ton of tricks up her sleeve, most of them I am well aware of and I know she's about to pull them. Why? Well hello little lady I grew up with your mom (my sister) all of what you think are original tricks were actually invented by your mom.
So, Tuesdays are often Drews day with Makenzie. He takes her to gymnastics, does her homework and puts her to bed. I usually work pretty late so I don't get home until later. It was a usual Tuesday and Drew asks Makenzie if she had homework, makenzie says no and nothing more is said, that is until Aunt Mandy comes home. Drew and I talk about the day and when Drew says Makenzie had no homework I get a little bit suspicious, she's had homework every night for 2 months, then none? I ask if he checked her folder, and he tells me yes. I then ask did you check the other pockets in her book-bag, and he's questioning why would I check her pockets? ha! Alicia used to crumple her homework up and put it in another pocket or the trash, no homework if it doesn't exist right?? wrong. Sure enough crumpled up homework at the bottom of the side pocket.
Drew and I discussed what would be the best way to handle this, I thought about my sister at 6 years old and how she would have reacted to each situation.
a. wake her up and have her do the homework- but then she would get to do exactly what my sister would have loved to do as a kid, join the party that she was convinced our parents had every night when she went to sleep.
b. See if we asked her in the morning about it if she would confess?- she doesn't lose out in any way, does her homework on the run and goes to school no consequences.
c. Let her know that we know about her hidden homework and not let her finish it... have her go to school early and let the teacher know she did not have her homework because she lied to her uncle about having homework.

We discussed, and in we went 20 minutes early to apologize to the teacher for not having her homework and have her tell the teacher why exactly she didn't have it. We walked out of the room and at that moment I realized that I had just made Makenzie do the exact same thing my own mother made me do. I realized I am my mother. My only hope is that her publicly apologizing for lying will have the same impact that it had on me and my sister 22 years earlier for stealing liberating that zebra gum.