the pitchfork

There is a debate about how children are affected by cartoons. When I was growing up the big debate was Looney Toons, my mom played into the “don’t let your kids watch LooneyToons because it’s violent.” And rightly so, I was completely affected by cartoons… If a cartoon could do it, when why couldn’t I???? and that brings me to one of MANY stories. The thing is; my parents DID NOT let us watch cartoons but all of our friends parents did. Ha! What had happened was…

My sister and I used to help clean out horse stables (yeah, I picked up horse manure), so that we could get horseback riding lessons. We had watched LooneyToons earlier that day involving Wiley Coyote and the Road Runner, you know how the Road Runner was always “outsmarting” the Coyote? This episode in particular involved the Road runner putting a Pitchfork on the ground, hopeful the Coyote would run up, step on it and it would hit the coyote in the face. And yep the coyote did just that…. Stars spun around his face and he was back up in a few seconds.

With that being said, we had a pitchfork in hand and concluded we should step on it really hard and then catch it before it hit us in the head. We stopped all work and began working on our plan. First things first go to an empty horse stall in the back, so no ADULTS would catch us goofing off. Then make sure we stopped giggling at our new and “awesome” idea, so again no one would hear us. Man ohhh man did we think we were hysterical. Placed the pitchfork on the ground (laughed a bunch more) and I got ready to slam my foot on it and had my hands ready to catch it!

BAM…. Foot slammed down and my hands are wide open. At this point all of you are probably thinking this can’t turn out well, and you are correct. It did not turn out well. In fact, there was no reason to even put my hands out…. Because, I slammed the pitchfork through my foot. Yes, there I was one rusty pitchfork prong shoved up through my boot into the top and out the other side. I look at Alicia wide eyed and debate the situation. I don’t know why, but, she and I decided the best course of action would be to pull the thing out and continue on working. I think I was in shock at this point because I can’t even tell you that it hurt, I didn’t scream or even wince. I just pulled the pitchfork out, went back up to the stall we were working in and continued with the day.

It was not until about an hour later, we went to the owner to tell her we were done, that I even noticed that my boot was FULL of blood and dripping through the seams. The owner of the place called my dad and my step mom, took off my boot and questioned what happened. Alicia and I pretended we didn’t even know what happened, we said we thought I might have stepped on something but we weren’t sure. How can you NOT be sure that you had something go through your foot and now you are bleeding profusely?? Anyways, she believed us gave me first Aid and I think my dad took me to the hospital to get a tetanus shot. In fact I really can’t remember much of the rest of the day… I lost quite a bit of blood.

So, in conclusion, I was absolutely influenced by TV and all that it had to offer.

-dad, you may be hearing the real story for the first time…..?
-and uhhh my foot is fine now.