This one is about a movie or I should say a movie theater. Not just any movie but the 3rd movie of the twilight series, I will admit I am an avid fan of the twilight series. I think it has something to do with fitting in with the current group of ladies that I hang with, no not pre-pubescent teenagers (wouldn’t that be awkward?). They are all my age, and just as into the silliness as I am. I had never gotten into any of the Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, but twilight, yep. I am what teenagers call “Team Jacob”, what can I say I like animals? Who doesn’t like werewolves with no shirts? Although Edward is tempting with his pale skin and bony “I survived a 40 day fast” look, his cold heart turns me away. I would NOT be admitting this if it did not lead to an extremely amusing story. But it DOES…. What had happened was…
I drove with a few friends to the local movie theater with the intention of seeing Predator. Yeah, I was going to waste 9 dollars on a “B” movie, awesome. I head up to the counter and it’s sold out!! No worries on my part, I had plan B, go see Eclipse the 3rd movie in the twilight series. I stroll to my movie with one of my friends wife as we giggle furiously entering the theater. There is only ONE way to watch any twilight movie and that is to pretend you are back in the 8th grade swooning over each and every character. And all swooning involves giggling and covering your eyes at “inappropriate” parts. And of course screaming each and every time your favorite character comes on the screen with dramatic background music playing. And in this movie it happens about every 6 minutes. That’s a whole bunch in 2 hour and 4 minute movie. So in true twilight mania fashion I screamed whenever Jacob was on, yes, yes, I know your thinking I represent everything cool in America. I assure you, I do.
In one scene in particular, Jacob was looking extra stud-muffinish in his cut off jean shorts and of course no shirt, werewolves I guess don’t wear shirts. Something about the money it cost to repair them each time they turn from human form to werewolf, the shirt rips? Who knows? All the girls start screaming (me included), the scene ends… and none of the girls about 15 rows behind me stop screaming. They continue, and then the boys sitting next to them start screaming?? I being the “not nosy at all person” turn around and look to see a wave of people getting up and standing on their chairs. I mean, the scene was good, but not that good? Then the next row starts getting up and screaming, there were dads chaperoning their children standing on their seats and screaming. After about 3 minutes of this wave action and high-pitched commotion, logic says that I should include myself in this fun. I was just getting ready to position myself on the chair and start screaming. I place my foot down, just in time to see a mouse round the corner of my row and start scurrying towards me. It dawned on me; this was the culprit that was causing such uproar! To me it was no big deal… and by no big deal I grabbed my purse, popcorn and soda, and I stood on my chair and screamed until the mouse was past my location. I also put in a few extra piercing garbled noises for good measure, in case it thought it was a good idea to come back to my row. I continued the rest of the movie with my feet up and all belongings in my lap, the mouse never returned. I am fairly certain it was due to the EXTRA noises I made during his (the mouse’) first popcorn run of the twilight movie.
I have a feeling that mouse learned his lesson interrupting a twilight movie,I bet next time he picks the movie predator... those guys are less likely to scream like girls.
13 July 2010
09 July 2010
the pitchfork
There is a debate about how children are affected by cartoons. When I was growing up the big debate was Looney Toons, my mom played into the “don’t let your kids watch LooneyToons because it’s violent.” And rightly so, I was completely affected by cartoons… If a cartoon could do it, when why couldn’t I???? and that brings me to one of MANY stories. The thing is; my parents DID NOT let us watch cartoons but all of our friends parents did. Ha! What had happened was…
My sister and I used to help clean out horse stables (yeah, I picked up horse manure), so that we could get horseback riding lessons. We had watched LooneyToons earlier that day involving Wiley Coyote and the Road Runner, you know how the Road Runner was always “outsmarting” the Coyote? This episode in particular involved the Road runner putting a Pitchfork on the ground, hopeful the Coyote would run up, step on it and it would hit the coyote in the face. And yep the coyote did just that…. Stars spun around his face and he was back up in a few seconds.
With that being said, we had a pitchfork in hand and concluded we should step on it really hard and then catch it before it hit us in the head. We stopped all work and began working on our plan. First things first go to an empty horse stall in the back, so no ADULTS would catch us goofing off. Then make sure we stopped giggling at our new and “awesome” idea, so again no one would hear us. Man ohhh man did we think we were hysterical. Placed the pitchfork on the ground (laughed a bunch more) and I got ready to slam my foot on it and had my hands ready to catch it!
BAM…. Foot slammed down and my hands are wide open. At this point all of you are probably thinking this can’t turn out well, and you are correct. It did not turn out well. In fact, there was no reason to even put my hands out…. Because, I slammed the pitchfork through my foot. Yes, there I was one rusty pitchfork prong shoved up through my boot into the top and out the other side. I look at Alicia wide eyed and debate the situation. I don’t know why, but, she and I decided the best course of action would be to pull the thing out and continue on working. I think I was in shock at this point because I can’t even tell you that it hurt, I didn’t scream or even wince. I just pulled the pitchfork out, went back up to the stall we were working in and continued with the day.
It was not until about an hour later, we went to the owner to tell her we were done, that I even noticed that my boot was FULL of blood and dripping through the seams. The owner of the place called my dad and my step mom, took off my boot and questioned what happened. Alicia and I pretended we didn’t even know what happened, we said we thought I might have stepped on something but we weren’t sure. How can you NOT be sure that you had something go through your foot and now you are bleeding profusely?? Anyways, she believed us gave me first Aid and I think my dad took me to the hospital to get a tetanus shot. In fact I really can’t remember much of the rest of the day… I lost quite a bit of blood.
So, in conclusion, I was absolutely influenced by TV and all that it had to offer.
-dad, you may be hearing the real story for the first time…..?
-and uhhh my foot is fine now.
My sister and I used to help clean out horse stables (yeah, I picked up horse manure), so that we could get horseback riding lessons. We had watched LooneyToons earlier that day involving Wiley Coyote and the Road Runner, you know how the Road Runner was always “outsmarting” the Coyote? This episode in particular involved the Road runner putting a Pitchfork on the ground, hopeful the Coyote would run up, step on it and it would hit the coyote in the face. And yep the coyote did just that…. Stars spun around his face and he was back up in a few seconds.
With that being said, we had a pitchfork in hand and concluded we should step on it really hard and then catch it before it hit us in the head. We stopped all work and began working on our plan. First things first go to an empty horse stall in the back, so no ADULTS would catch us goofing off. Then make sure we stopped giggling at our new and “awesome” idea, so again no one would hear us. Man ohhh man did we think we were hysterical. Placed the pitchfork on the ground (laughed a bunch more) and I got ready to slam my foot on it and had my hands ready to catch it!
BAM…. Foot slammed down and my hands are wide open. At this point all of you are probably thinking this can’t turn out well, and you are correct. It did not turn out well. In fact, there was no reason to even put my hands out…. Because, I slammed the pitchfork through my foot. Yes, there I was one rusty pitchfork prong shoved up through my boot into the top and out the other side. I look at Alicia wide eyed and debate the situation. I don’t know why, but, she and I decided the best course of action would be to pull the thing out and continue on working. I think I was in shock at this point because I can’t even tell you that it hurt, I didn’t scream or even wince. I just pulled the pitchfork out, went back up to the stall we were working in and continued with the day.
It was not until about an hour later, we went to the owner to tell her we were done, that I even noticed that my boot was FULL of blood and dripping through the seams. The owner of the place called my dad and my step mom, took off my boot and questioned what happened. Alicia and I pretended we didn’t even know what happened, we said we thought I might have stepped on something but we weren’t sure. How can you NOT be sure that you had something go through your foot and now you are bleeding profusely?? Anyways, she believed us gave me first Aid and I think my dad took me to the hospital to get a tetanus shot. In fact I really can’t remember much of the rest of the day… I lost quite a bit of blood.
So, in conclusion, I was absolutely influenced by TV and all that it had to offer.
-dad, you may be hearing the real story for the first time…..?
-and uhhh my foot is fine now.
